Jealousy
by Queen Lexi
Summary: In which Byakuran experience the feeling of jealousy for the first time. 10051. Soft M-content. Set in the present.


**Jealousy**

_Jealousy is a second emotion and typically refers to the negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment and disgust._

Days are peacefully passing by in the house in Namimori I share with the Giglionero family members. Nozaru and Bluebell run around with pictures in their hands with Tazaru and Zakuro not far behind, yelling out extremities at each other. Uni-chan started going to school and Gamma was finally starting to accept the fact that I was living in the same house as the sky princess, and that I had no intention to hurt any of them anymore. Peaceful indeed.

But then why did I feel this kind of clenching in my chest? It hurts and I feel sick all the time. I asked Shou-chan about it, but he said he was an engineer and chemist, not a doctor. Strangely enough the feeling went away when he was around though. Instead it was a fluttery, almost ticklish feeling in my gut and my heart raced. Much like it did now.

Shou-chan is sitting opposite of me, thinking about his next move in their little game of Choice. The way his brow furrowed was adorable and he scratched his ruffled head before he smiled triumphantly and moved a piece. "Now I've got you, Byakuran-san!"

I observed the board, and indeed, he had me in quite a pinch. If this continued I might have to give him all the marshmallows I had in stock to the younger kids (Shou-chan says he's worried about my health and teeth since he thinks I_ only_ eat those heavenly puffs of sugar). Now it was my turn to frown, I didn't want to hand over all the white collections of pure euphoria! The battle seemed lost, until I saw that I had an extra tank, and it sacrificing it meant I could keep my sweets I'd rather have it blown to smithereens. "What was that, Shou-chan?" I smiled and hummed, moving the tank to launch an attack against the hostile unit.

"Dammit!" he banged his fist down and mumbled a few more curses. He took of his glasses to rub his eyes before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and bite it in frustration. Something about the gesture had me watching him attentively, the quench in my torso was back, but it was different from before. Instead of a painful stab at my heart my entire body pulsed with a pleasant pressure. The feeling was unfamiliar and I didn't know what to make of it. I was lucky my cheeks didn't have the same kind of external blood vessels Shou-chan had or else I would have blushed when I felt a hot surging between my legs. Even my older self had not been all to educated in the area beneath my waist, but one thing was certain; I was getting excited. For what, I didn't know, sometimes it just happened.

Shou-chan let go of his lip which was moist and swollen red by now before moving one of his defensive piece with great concentration. He didn't even notice me staring at him instead of the game, and I was kind of relieved by that. But then he looked up at me with the same concentration, which soon cracked into a smile. "Your move."

Now the blush didn't stop, I could feel my cheeks heating up before I lowered my head to try and hide it with my unruly hair. Shou-chan was about to try and close in on me again, but for that he had to weaken his defence. And since I don't have a stationary base it will be easy to avoid for now, but instead I also advanced on him, since he is vulnerable as it is now. I just finished my round when the door behind me opened up. I didn't have time to turn around before I saw the light which lit up Shou-chan's eyes as he smiled widely and waved to the person behind me.

"Spanner, you finished the draft?" he asked, and I glared at him, my chest tightening in that unpleasant way again. He must have noticed my sour expression as he looked at me worriedly. "Byakuran-san? Are you alright?" his voice was light with worry.

"I'm fine," I lied. I had meant it to come out in my usually bubbly voice, but it was surprisingly sour.

"Shouichi, I have what you asked for," Spanner walked past me and set down his laptop in front of my best friend. "Wanna review it now?" the child inventor smiled in triumph and put a hand on Shou-chan's shoulder, standing close to him. I could almost have growled out loud. I didn't know why I was angry, but I didn't want to be here anymore. Or rather, I didn't want Spanner to be here. My heart always clenched extra tightly when he was around.

"Yeah, but…" Shou-chan glanced sideways at me, as if I didn't hear or see him.

I stood up, letting my legs give the table a shove, scrambling our game all over the place. I felt the displeased frown which was on my face as it grew even deeper as I turned away, walking briskly against the door. I heard Shou-chan also pushing his chair back as he stood up, but he didn't move.

"Byakuran-san-!" I slammed the door behind me, not wanting to hear what he had to say. If he had something to say he could have said it immediately. The irritation still rose in my mind, and I decided that instead of taking my anger out on that noisy kid Nozaru or the ever valiant Gamma I should head to my room to try and calm down. I didn't like it when people saw me mentally dishevelled, not since I received that memory from the future of the final battle I had with Tsunayoshi-kun. Somehow I didn't feel like that future version of me was really me. I could never have done such things to Uni-chan or the Vongola, they were my friends after all. And most of all…I would never do something to make Shou-chan hate me. The future me knew that Shou-chan hated violence and even the thought of a fight scared him witless. What had gone wrong with himself? Maybe it was the Mare rings which gave him that delusion of grandeur.

I entered my room and shut the door before throwing myself on top my bed. The mere thought of Shou-chan betraying me like that hurt so much it was almost unbearable. He was my best friend, my very first true friend. I didn't mind him having other friends as long as I was his number one. But Spanner… Whenever Shou-chan looked at Spanner now a days they gave each other meaningful looks, and he looked so damn happy as well. The thought of Spanner being Shou-chan's best friend left me in despair. I hate the thought of the technician taking Shou-chan away from me.

He always treated me so different from Spanner. He's just "Spanner" while I'm "Byakuran-san". Why does he call me with that honorific which signals unfamiliarity? I hate it.

Whenever I did something wrong Shou-chan yelled at me while he just laughed at Spanner. Why was it so much more wrong when I did it? I don't get it.

Why could Spanner touch him so naturally while he scurried away whenever I grazed my hand against him? I hate that too.

He never tells me anything, but I'm pretty sure he share his secrets with Spanner, since they always stop talking when I walk into the room. It makes me angry.

When I asked him if I could visit his house he yelled at me, but I've seen Spanner walk home with him several times. I despise it.

I want Shou-chan to be like that with me too. I want him to tell me about all of his robots and his studies. I want him to play his guitar for me more often. I want him to tell me more of his cheesy jokes about chemistry. I want him to call me just "Byakuran". I want him to ask me about myself. I want him to invite me to be with him. I want him to play more Choice with me. I want him to be with me more. I wanted him to chase after me when I left earlier.

I rolled onto my back, covering my eyes with my hands and sighed. Since when did I become so freaking possessive? Oh yeah, I had always been.

The uncomfortable feeling between my legs hadn't gone away either, but right now I could care enough to drag myself to the shower and get rid of it. Instead I crossed my legs and did my best to ignore it. I don't know how long I just laid there, I kept my eyes closed the entire time, and with my rushing thoughts I had no conception of time. But suddenly a knock startled me and I snapped my eyes open. I didn't turn my head when I the door opened. "Byakuran-san?"

I didn't look at him before turning to my side, ignoring him completely. Because I knew that if I looked at him I'd probably just forgive him anyway. I don't want to forgive him right away. I want him to know I'm mad.

"Um…Byakuran-san?" his voice was closer by now. He was probably standing at the edge of my bed. "Are you angry?"

I gave him no reply. He would have to try harder than that.

"Why are you angry? Spanner just wanted to show me his draft… We didn't finish our game…" did he really think I was worried over the stupid game? No. I was angry over the fact that he'd rather spend time with Spanner when he's with me.

Shou-chan didn't say anything else. The silence was heavy between us before he moved to the other side of my bed so he could face me. "Byakuran-san?" he said again.

I turned the other way. Really childish, I know, but I didn't want to look at him. I don't know why, but it felt like the pain in my chest would increase if I did. I heard him sigh behind me before the mattress dipped ever so slightly to the side. I didn't have time to get myself off the bed before a hand yanked me onto my back. Shou-chan was glaring at me with some emotion I couldn't determine, but it was obvious that he was disturbed by my odd behaviour.

"What's wrong with you? Why won't you talk to me?" his voice cracked a little and I had to fight the urge to giggle at him.

"You're the genius here," damn, that wasn't what I wanted to say. I'm usually so straight-forward, so why can't I tell him what I want to? I didn't meet his gaze, another out of character thing to do for me. Instead I turned my head to the side, but he wouldn't let me avoid him like that, so he grabbed my chin to direct my face against him again. His brown eyes were flaming with confusion and anger. His mouth was turned downwards in a displeased frown and I couldn't help but notice that his shirt had two buttons open. Somehow, it disturbed me.

Shou-chan always had his shirts neatly tucked and made, the fact that it had changed since I left him and Spanner alone in the room was deeply unsettling. I bit the inside of my cheek and moved to shove him away, the pain in my chest making me hurt so bad I felt my breath coming short. But Shou-chan probably saw my move coming as he slapped my hand away and held it down while awkwardly and clumsily moving to sit on top of my stomach. I growled angrily at him. My strength was far superior to his, and it would be child's play to push him off me, but I didn't. Obviously, he wanted to tell me something, and I might as well hear what it is.

"What the hell is wrong with you? There's no reason for you to behave like an immature brat!" Shou-chan cried at me, slamming his hand down next to my head on the bedcovers.

I didn't know what to say so I still kept my mouth shut like a clam. The silence between us was tense, and it didn't help me calm down, it worked the opposite way, especially the way Shou-chan was still straddling me. If he just moved downwards a little more…

"This is stupid," Shou-chan said and sat up fully, releasing my hands. "If you don't even want to talk to me I might as well get back to work," he sighed and was about to slide away when I grabbed his arm.

'Work' for Shou-chan meant calculations and tapping away at the computer, but it also meant he was going to spend the rest of his day in the premises of Spanner, alone. If there's one thing I don't want, it's that. The frustration was too much, I didn't know how to handle it anymore.

"Byakuran-san?" he said my name with worry and confusion, and I met his eye. The look had my heart skipping a beat and clenching in the most uncomfortable way. The uncertainty of a naïve boy and concerned frown of a humble human being is what I saw. The legs around my waist shifted slightly and I could almost hear the fabric of my pants stretching as my excitement came back in a powerful wave. Dammit, why did he have this effect on me? Had I always felt like this? Did my older self feel like this whenever Shou-chan was near? I don't even know what the hell these feelings raging inside me are. They were hell of a lot more complicated than college math though, that's for sure.

But I decided to not care as I sat up, forcing Shou-chan to slide down onto my lap, and by the surprised expression and deep blush that appeared he must've felt my cock pushing up against my pants. He gasped and started to climb off me, "uh-I…Ehm… I'm s-sorry, Byakura—"

"Shut up," I told him, with that voice which always froze him into place. His brow wrinkled into a fearful frown, he probably thought I was really angry with him for accidentally rubbing against me. I wasn't angry about it. If anything, I wanted him to do it again, and many times over. The feeling of lust had my head spinning, and I placed my hands on his thighs, pushing him forward against me once more. I choked on my own breath and moaned when his front rubbed against my covered erection, throwing my head back. But the short feeling of euphoria was indeed short since I heart a shocked gasp that broke through my veil of satisfaction.

Shou-chan had placed his hands on my shoulders as if to push me away, and was staring with wide, almost horrified eyes at me. When the look of fear finally registered in my mind my throat seemed to swell and I had troubles breathing. I didn't want Shou-chan to be scared of me. I didn't want him to look at me like that, because it hurt, it was almost mind numbing. I must have looked like I had seen a ghost, because his expression softened, but he still seemed wary of me. He pushed at me, but I still held on to his hips, and his wiggling movements only made him rub against me more.

I could feel my sanity slowly slipping away as he unintentionally grinded against me. But then he stopped as he looked at my face again. His cheeks were flaming red, and fear played on his features. I didn't want him to be scared, I wanted him to feel as good as I did, and great gods of heaven did it feel good whenever friction was eminent between my legs. My hands let go of his pelvic, and cupped his face instead. His eyes widened as I leaned closer.

"Shou-chan…" I mumbled his name before pressing my lips to his. Electricity ran through my body as our skin made contact and I sighed in contempt. I had never kissed anyone before, at least not like this. I was about to close my eyes when he made a muffling sound, giving me a wide eyed stare while trying to pull away. I broke the kiss, but still held him close by his neck.

"Byakuran-san! W-what are you doing?" he cried in a high pitched voice, obviously cracked due to puberty. He didn't push at me anymore, just sat still and blushed crimson red. My own cheeks were probably tainted as well.

Truth be told I didn't know what I was doing, so I just said what came to mind; "hmmm~… Making you feel good?"

His ears turned red too, how cute. "W-why would you do something like that?"

"Because I want us to feel good together. Is that wrong?" I asked, thrusting my hips up as good as I could in my sitting position. The sound which came from his mouth almost made me come right then and there, a mix between a moan and surprised squeak.

"B-but…" Shou-chan was so adorable when he had that bashful look which was new too me and —_dear lord let me throw him down into the mattress and fuck the living daylights out of him_— he bit his lip again, "why me?"

My eyes widened at him. Why? Is he stupid? He's my best friend. He's the world to me. _His body is like a walking miracle_. What else did he want?

"Why not?" I smiled, "you don't mind, right?"

The way he turned his gaze away alerted me, he looked hurt. My heart was stabbed by that invisible knife again, but it hurt much more than before, and I felt sick. "N-no…" he mumbled and stared at me again. I breathed a sigh of relief, pulling him close again, "but not now, Spanner will look for me soon."

My eyes snapped open as I froze. Blood rushed to my head and I hissed out before crashing my lips against his. One of my hands slipped down to his waist to press him against me, and I grinded my hips against him. I heard him moan in a half-protesting way, but I didn't let him go, instead I nibbled harshly at his bottom lip. He whined at my treatment, since it probably hurt a bit more than I meant it to, but I couldn't find the urge to care. My common sense (if I had any in the first place) was shrouded by a black veil and I didn't know what I was doing anymore.

Shou-chan moaned sweetly when I ground extra roughly against him, and his arms winded around my neck. It was unbelievable how good it felt to be embraced by him in this simple way, a kind of satisfaction which had never existed for me before. It was warm and fluffy, and the bitterness which had invaded me previously was gone. He's mine, no one else's. He's with me, not anyone else. I'm the one making him blush like this. I'm the one making him feel good.

I broke the lip-lock again, and found myself panting and moaning just the same as him. The restraint around my erection was becoming really painful and I reached down to undo the zipper. However before I even touched my pants I felt Shou-chan's cock bump against my stomach, my cheeks had probably never been more colourful before. He whined in a pleading way, panting in front of me. "B-Byakuran-san…p-please," he pleaded without the proper words, but I still understood what he meant.

I had to use both my hands to undo his pants and pull them down together with his underwear. I couldn't help but to let my eyes wander down, staring at the newly uncovered locks of brown hair and his hard member. I unconsciously liked my lips, but Shou-chan whined in embarrassment and I had to meet his gaze again. His eyes looked dreamy, and it was hard for me to resist giving him another quick kiss. "Do mine too?" I asked him, short of breath.

His brow furrowed in uncertainty, but then his hands moved from my neck and slid down my body in the most tentative way, his finger sliding over my nipples, sending a jolt of excitement through my body. Then he was down by my pants and I gasped when he pulled down the zipper, before hesitating. I urged him on with a pleased groan, and moaned loudly when the little I was freed from the restricting piece of cloth. Now it was Shou-chan's turn to stare. I didn't know if I could be considered big, I had no habit of watching other men naked after all, but I was pretty sure I was well developed for my age. The way he stared told me he thought I was though.

But I didn't want his attention down there, not right now. Instead I hm-ed with amusement at him to gain his attention before kissing him again. He quickly put his arms around my neck again, but quickly broke the contact, much to my dismay. He looked shyly at me, "s-stick your tongue out…" I raised an eyebrow at him. But by the way he blushed even deeper told me it had taken him a great deal of courage to ask that of me so I went along with it and did as told. He leaned closer, and I was curious about what he was going to do before he took my tongue in between his lips and gently sucked. _Sweet mother of god…_

I moaned dreamily, my eyes rolling back into my head as I closed them. Shou-chan started gliding his tongue against mine, making me realise I should move mine as well. I found myself moving my head from side to side, wanting to find the perfect angle to go deeper, but as we both twirled our tongues around the other's that angle shifted all the time and it seemed like both of us were trying to acquire it. My tongue was pushed back by Shou-chan's, and I moaned when he started exploring the roof of my mouth. But I was getting short on breath, so I separated our lips, taking a desperate breath.

The brief break in out very first make-out session reminded me of our little problems down south, but Shou-chan seemed intent on continuing what we had been doing. I avoided his mouth and instead I looked down, letting one of my hands fall down to his crotch. As my fingers closed around his cock he moaned breathily into my ear, and I responded him with a pleasured groan as my forehead fell onto his shoulder. I started pumping him, making him cry out and holding me closer. I latched my lips and teeth against his exposed neck, biting and sucking. His hips started bucking up against my hand, and simultaneously he rubbed his ass against my dick, and I had to moan loudly. He reacted to my pleasured sound by rocking his hips downwards against me again until he was practically sitting on me. My stomach was tightening more and more with every move we made, and I knew I was growing close to the edge. I didn't know how far along Shou-chan was, but I speeded the pace of my hand up, and I was rewarded with a harsh bite at my shoulder which had me wincing.

"Ah, ah…B-Byakura-ahn…" the way his voice said my name drove me crazy, making me rock my hips in time to match his grinding. His moans were slowly becoming loud cries, and mine too. I squeezed my hand tighter around his cock, and felt him shudder as he screamed my name in the sweetest way I could ever imagine. I felt something warm cover my palm, and I didn't have to look down to understand what it was, but I did anyway. When I let go of him he fell limply against me, panting heavily with sweat rolling down his face.

I brought my hand up to my face, and looked at the white liquid covering it. Curiously I brought my fingers to my mouth and licked, feeling a salty and kind of bitter taste, but despite it being so different from my usual preference I licked it all off, because it was Shou-chan's. I didn't notice his shocked stare until I was done savouring all of the cum, and then I simply smiled at him. "Taste great, Shou-chan~," I chirped and kissed him again.

"How can you say that? I-it's dirty…" he mumbled, looking down.

That made me frown. There's nothing dirty about Shou-chan. I was about to protest out loud when he shifted and rubbed against my still erect member. The groan that came out of my mouth was so deep I barely believed it to be my own, but it seemed to alert him of my condition. He blushed deeply before looking at me again.

"Um… S-should I take care of that?" he asked me in the most adorable way I thought possible. And hell yes did I want that.

I nodded eagerly as Shou-chan responded with a shy "okay" before getting off me. I was curious about what he was going to do when he suddenly got on all four in front of me and dipped his head down between my legs. I gasped out loud and was about to ask him what he was doing when he took the head of my cock into his mouth. My eyes widened and I threw my head back, moaning loudly as he lightly sucked. He started bobbing his head up and down, and I couldn't help the twitch of my hips to meet his warm mouth. I could hear the slight gagging noise he made, but the second time I thrust my pelvic upwards he seemed to be ready for it and met my movements as best as he could.

With great effort I let my head fall forward to watch him, and it might have been the most erotic scene in my entire life to come. Shou-chan had removed his glasses, and he was looking up at me through his brown bangs, with his mouth closed around my member and bare ass raised into the air. I reached my hand out to brush away the hair covering his eyes, tenderly stroking the soft locks. The warm glow in his brown orbs filled me with a warmth as I continued to breath hastily, "Shou-chan…"

I was closing my limit, and couldn't take it anymore, the almost painful tightening in my stomach driving me crazy. Shou-chan must have noticed it too somehow, because he was taking me deeper and deeper into his mouth, sucking harder than before. I forced his head down, holding it there as I cried out and came hard, my body shaking violently from the intensity. I was seeing stars as my eyes rolled back, and my hips involuntarily flickered into Shou-chan's warm mouth.

It was only when I was slowly getting down from my high that Shou-chan was gagging against me, and I immediately let him go. He raised his head, sucking in a deep breath before coughing. I was immediately on my knees to pat him lightly on the back, apologizing hurriedly. Soon he calmed down and looked up at me, innocent chocolate irises glistening with unshed tears, and smiled. "Byakuran-san?" he leaned his head to one side as he crawled up against me, winding his arms around my neck again.

"Hm?" I kissed him sweetly again.

"Care to tell me why you were angry?" he asked me, hugging me closer.

I had almost forgotten about that. But only almost. "I don't…I don't want you to be so close to Spanner. Or any one else," I buried my face by the crook of his neck, "you're mine."

I blushed and groaned in a displeased way when he laughed, "you were jealous?"

Jealousy? I don't think I've ever experienced that emotion before. But now when I think about it, that might be true, at least if it felt like how the dictionary described it; _consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, sadness, resentment and disgust._

"Shou-chan," I still held my head by his shoulder, "I love you."

The silence which followed had my heart pounding with anxiousness in my chest. Why wasn't he saying anything? Doesn't he feel the same way? I raised my head and gasped when I saw tears rolling down his round cheeks. I panicked, my blood freezing to ice and my heart skipped a beat. "S-Shou-chan?"

He sniffed loudly, "t-took you long enough!"

I cupped his red face with my pale hands, brushing away the trail of tears running down the soft cheeks. I smiled, gently I hope, before kissing his rosy lips.

"I love you too," he said, sniffing again.

I giggled, "I figured."

* * *

><p>Sassy one-shot is sassy! I typed it up over this weekend, so please don't be too harsh, I haven't proof read it properly yet ;A; I promise I'll do it tomorrow after school, but here you go for the moment~3 (Just so you know, there is more 10051 to come, but also a few 6927 are in the making!)<p>

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!


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